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| In This Issue • Marriage Skill 24: Replace Selfishness with Faith • Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ • Other Upcoming Opportunities |
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| Marriage Skill 24:
Replace Selfishness (Exalting Our Needs) with Faith Hopefully, by now, you have accepted the fact that you have God-given needs. Previously, we proved that Adam’s aloneness (Gen. 2:18), the “one another” commands, and common sense proves this. We then focused our attention on the “Top 12 Commonly Identified Needs.” Three barriers to intimacy. There are three barriers to intimacy—things we do that hinder or block closeness. We can exalt our needs (selfishness), deny our needs (self-sufficiency; self-reliance) and be ashamed of our needs (self-condemnation). In this article we will address the first barrier to intimacy, exalting our needs—selfishness. Selfishness (exalting our needs) is a barrier to intimacy. A selfish person is someone who says “yes I know that I have these needs, and getting my needs met is the most important thing to me.” They are takers—more concerned about getting their own needs met than meeting the needs of others. Satan tempted Eve to exalt her needs and become selfish. When Satan said “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden?,’” he was tempting her to believe that there is something out there that God will not give me and I want it, so I better take it and meet my own needs. This is the very essence of selfishness: taking charge and meeting my own needs because I do not believe there is a loving God who can or will give to me. Satan tempted Jesus to exalt His needs and become selfish. When Satan tempted Him to throw Himself down from the “pinnacle of the temple” (Matt. 4:6), he was tempting Jesus to selfishly take the admiration and respect of the people without having to go through the suffering of the cross. By jumping from the pinnacle, and not being hurt, He could wow the multitudes of people below into worshipping Him without having to die for them. The truth is that Jesus did not have to selfishly acquire these things; God was going give it to Him in the future—in God’s way and in God’s timing. The prodigal son exalted his needs and exhibited selfishness. The prodigal son exalted His needs and came to his father saying “give me what is mine” (Lu. 15:12). Exalting our needs above the needs of others, and taking to meet our needs indicates that we do not believe that there is an all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing God who “will supply all your needs according to His riches” (Phil. 4:19). “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him” (Heb. 11:6). In what ways have you replaced selfishness with trusting God to provide? |
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| About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 25 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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| Other Upcoming Opportunities Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ The fastest way to marriage harmony! A two-day clinic to learn and experience the 25 Core Relational Life Skills. More Info » Individual Counseling We offer individual counseling to couples desiring an introductory session or two, follow-up sessions, or focused counseling. More Info » Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group Ongoing accountability group helps you internalize the good practices you’ve learned, avoid returning to bad habits, and develop new marriage-building skills. Next meeting is on August 5. More Info » Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com  |
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