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| In This Issue • Marriage Tip 13: Give and Receive Security • Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ • Other Upcoming Opportunities |
| Marriage Tip 13:
Give and Receive Security (Peace) The need for security is met by harmony in relationships and freedom from fear of threat of harm. “Be of the same mind toward one another . . . if possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Rom. 12:16, 18) Jesus gave security to those close to Him by continually meeting their physical, relational, and spiritual needs. He even performed miracles to meet needs (Mk. 6:30-45) Believe and receive the security God offers you. Know that God “is near” (Phil. 4:5) will “never desert” or “forsake you” (Heb. 13:5) and is “our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psa. 46:1). As we make knowing Him our top priority He promises to met our needs (Matt. 6:33). He promises that if we “Keep sound wisdom and discretion . . . then you will walk securely (Prov. 3:21-23).” Wisdom is seeing life from God’s perspective. Make sure your partner knows they are number two in your life. Next to God, your partner wants top priority. If anything (job, career, kids, house, friends, ministry, exercise, friendships, golf) displaces them, they will feel insecure. Even if they are wrongly perceiving being number three or lower, whatever you’re doing to meet their need for security isn’t landing—make it land. Honor your vow to not divorce. You vowed either explicitly or implicitly to love for better or worse, sickness or health, poverty or wealth, till death do us part.” You made a vow, not a contract—keep your vow. Your partner vowed to you partially because you were making a commitment to them. Don’t make the vow, or keep what you vowed—pick one. Forsake all others. Great insecurity comes with emotional and/or physical unfaithfulness. The lying and deception about it can cause even greater insecurity. Avoid these common issues: no marketable skill, inadequate income, not making or sticking to a budget, no retirement or death plan, unrighteous anger, speeding, drinking too much, eating too much, too close a friendship with opposite sex, lacking discretion, too little or too much parental discipline. Learn to express your needs positively. Many people expect their partner to meet their needs, (without telling them what they are) and get mad when they don’t. Request them positively: “I know you have been working hard lately but it would mean a lot to me if . . .” Be a safe haven for your partner to share their fears. We want others to initiate meeting our valid needs—without us having to ask. This vulnerability can create fear. Be a safe person for your mate to discuss these fears without being criticized, judged, or activating your own fears. How have you given and received security? |
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| About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 25 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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| Other Upcoming Opportunities Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ Includes all of the topics, instruction, and counseling projects in the Two-Day Marriage Clinic™, but is completely private—you, your partner and the counselor only. More Info » Individual Counseling We offer individual counseling to couples desiring an introductory session or two, follow-up sessions, or focused counseling. More Info » Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group Ongoing accountability group helps you internalize the good practices you’ve learned, avoid returning to bad habits, and develop new marriage-building skills. Next meeting is on May 6. More Info » FREE Marriage Builder Series Don’t just tie the knot, but tighten the knot as you strengthen abilities to incorporate relevant and practical biblical principles in these couples’ group classes. Child care included. First Tuesday of every month (6:30-8:00pm). More Info » Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com  |
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