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| Blogging for the Houston Chronicle We have a unique opportunity to write the “Conservative Evangelical” blog for the Houston Chronicle, which is also featured on the “City Brights” blog page. The page has 5,000 to 18,000 hits a month. Would you help us launch this blog by clicking the link below and adding your brief comment as we we try to strengthen marriages together? Click here to visit the Christ and Culture blog |
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| Marriage Tip 1:
Accept Your God-Given Needs for God and Others Note: You may be wondering, why is this e-mail labeled Marriage Tip 1—didn’t we already receive Marriage Tip 13? You are right. However, we’ve decided to start over and write more thorough and systematic tips in this and future newsletters. And with that in mind, we’re starting over with number one. Enjoy! If you want to have a better marriage, then you must reject forever the false teaching that God is all you need. He is ultimately what we need but not all we need. We must ultimately depend on Him as the source to meet our needs (Matt. 6:33), but He does not meet all our needs directly—He may sometimes want to meet them indirectly—through other people. Adam’s aloneness proves we have needs. It was God who said in Gen. 2:18 “it is not good for the man to be alone.” Adam had an aloneness problem even before he had a sin problem (Gen. 3:6). He had a morally perfect relationship with God not marred by any sin; was living in a perfect environment (Eden, Paradise); had an exalted position as CEO of planet Earth (and no competition—every business man’s dream) but was alone and God said aloneness was “not good.” God’s solution was a person—Eve. Not more prayer or Bible study—but a person. Common sense proves God is not all we need. A need is essentially something God has provided, declaring and validating that we need it. He provided air, food and water—therefore we need air, food and water. But notice our need for air, food and water are met with air, food and water (things outside Himself, contrary to what the pantheistic new agers claim) not a deeper closeness with Him. The “one-another” commands prove we have needs. If God commands us to respect, encourage and comfort one another, it must mean that we all need respect, encouragement and comfort. Otherwise, God asks us to do something irrelevant and He doesn’t do that! God who could have created us any way He wanted, chose to create us with a need to relate both with Himself and meaningful others. Relational relevancy is lost when we misunderstand man’s need, claiming he only needs God. Denying needs leads to self-sufficient attitudes like “If God is all I need why can’t God be all you need . . . If I don’t need comfort or attention, then why can’t you do without comfort or attention . . . why do you have to be so needy?” Tell the average Christian that you are feeling alone in your marriage (or in life generally), you are likely to hear: “you’re not alone, you have God . . . God is all you need . . . you just need to pray more . . . read your Bible more . . . you just need to get your eyes off yourself.” If aloneness is not good, then make it one of your primary marriage and parenting goals to remove aloneness. A successful husband is one whose wife feels less alone this year than she felt last year. And a successful wife is one whose husband feels less alone this year than he felt last year. A successful parent is one whose children feel less alone this year than last year. Certainly you daily consider the question “what must I get done today?” Add thoughts like “how can I remove my partner’s aloneness today?” What other biblical truths prove that God is ultimately what we need but not all we need? |
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| About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 25 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ Completely private: you, your partner and the counselor only.Includes all of the topics, instruction, and counseling projects in the Two-Day Marriage Clinic™, but is completely private. No group sessions are included. Available August and September. Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com  |
Individual Counseling Completely private: you, your partner and the counselor only.We offer individual counseling to couples desiring any of the following: • An introductory session or two • Follow-up sessions • Focused counseling Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com |
Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group Schedule/Register NowCouples’ Groups The Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group is available to those who have already attended the Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ or the Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™. This ongoing accountability group helps you internalize the good practices you’ve learned, avoid returning to bad habits, and develop new marriage-building skills. The Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group offers new opportunities for skill development and in-depth review of the 25 Essential Marriage Skills in the context of a caring, confidential group. This format provides a unique opportunity for questions, support, encouragement, and dealing with problem areas not yet fully resolved. Couples can discuss their issues as much or as little as desired—the only person you must talk with is your spouse. When? Thursday evening from 7:30pm to 9:00pm. • February 4 • March 4 • April 1 • May 6 • June 3 • July 7 • More Dates Where? Courtyard by Marriott Houston Westchase 9975 Westheimer Road Houston, TX 77042 (713) 784-3003 Interactive Map and Directions Cost $50/couple/meeting. We ask for a six-month minimum commitment. (The total cost for all six meetings is $300/couple). Some health insurance plans cover group counseling. (more insurance information) Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com Schedule/Register Now |
FREE Marriage Builder Series  Couples’ Group ClassesGet your PhD (Perfecting Home Development) in the essential skills of marriage and family satisfaction and become a marriage champion—one who wins at marriage by conquering its many enemies. Learn to fight off the “two-getherness-killers” like anger, fear, worry, anxiety, and resentment that can build walls of distance in a marriage. Don’t just tie the knot, but tighten the knot as you strengthen abilities to incorporate relevant and practical biblical principles of harmonious connecting. Enjoy experiential activities alone with your partner guaranteed to fortify your marriage and family relationships. Whether you want to make a great marriage even better or resurrect a dead marriage, learn the secrets of having “a friendship on fire” as you become better friends and lovers. Child care available by reservation!  When?First Tuesday of every month (6:30-8:30pm) October 6, 2009-December 7, 2010 Where? Tallowood Main Campus, Grand Room (map) Detailed Map of Tallowood Campus Cost Completely free! Includes child care (by reservation). Contact & Registration Kim Holton (713) 468-8241 ext. 8134 kholton@tallowood.org Register Now |
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The fastest way to marriage harmony!